August 29, 1974, around 2:00 a.m. in the morning and I, a fifteen-year-old boy, decided to get drunk for the first time in my life. My parents decided to leave my brother and I alone to look after our baby sister and brother who were six-year-old and three-year-old. With our parents gone, I figured I would go out on Friday night and my brother would go out on Saturday night. Little did we know that there was a tragedy lurking and waiting for us.

My younger brother and sister died on that night when our home caught fire and burnt to the ground. I was one of those people who think that these things only happen to other people. I found out in a very difficult and painful way that alcohol can be the cause of many peoples problems." And on the night of August 29, 1974 I tried my best to save my brother and sister but I couldn't and I've had to live with the fact that I was the cause of my brother's and sister's deaths ever since.

I personally believe that alcohol has been a contributing factor in all of the past 25 years of my life. For most of those years I have been in prison as I am now and alcohol as been one of those evils that keep bringing me back to jail.

It as been twenty-six years since the fire and the way I feel hasn't changed and I doubt if I will ever be able to live peacefully with myself. I've learned to forgive myself to some extent but a lot of people will never forgive me. I've tried to explain what happened to different members of my family over the years but they refuse to accept the fact that it was a stupid mistake on my part. I was only a kid at the time but I've had to live with what happened all those years ago and that in itself is more punishment than anyone person should have to endure for an entire lifetime. There is not a day that goes over my head that I don't relive that night over and over. I wish to God that I never went out drinking and that I never heard about alcohol. I have never asked for pity from anyone but it is very difficult to deal with this sort of thing at times.

Inmates, for goodness sake, if any of you who may be reading this article ever thinks about doing what I did, don't. You should give some serious thought to what the consequences of alcohol may be and what you may be held responsible for. I hope I have given some of you something to think about the next time you decide to have a drink and get drunk especially if you happen to be responsible for someone else's life. It's not worth it and the hurt lasts for a life time and it doesn't get any easier.

Someone who has been his own tormentor.