Reflection In Research

Another important aspect of ethnographic research is what Haig-Brown (1992) terms the "self-reflexive character of study" (102), where the conscientious researcher acknowledges her impact on the world she studies and attempts to be explicit about her assumptions. In my concern and respect for the people at the Centre, I wanted to be clear to them what my stance and beliefs are about education, so I chose to present myself through words and visuals during the first group meetings with them.

I was also aware of mutual influencing effects - that I would be affected by and would affect the people at the Centre. One student approached me as a confidante and wanted to talk about problems with her boyfriend and with drinking. The circumstances and crises in some of the students' lives emotionally moved me and necessitated much reflection and journal writing in order to work out the boundaries of my role as researcher. The death of one of the teachers was an event that deeply affected me as well.

Christina Patterson died during the summer of 2001. She had undergone surgery and treatments, but the cancer returned. Her death revealed much to me about the depth of relationships amongst people at the Centre, and that I had become a part of those relationships. For a time after her death, I experienced many challenges and emotional struggles related to talking about Christina with others, listening to her voice on the interview tapes, and helping to deal with all the ensuing changes at the Centre.

Another area of reflection was my absorption with educational politics and my keen interest as a student, a mother and an educator in exploring power relations within my own life. Kirby (1989) helped me see that my decisions and research strategies were based on "the belief that we must include our own experience and understandings as part of doing research" (7) and that "...who I am circumscribes what kind of research I can do" (21). For instance, I chose interviewing because I am sincerely interested in people and keen to hear about their lives. My choice to use artifacts as a research tool is an extension of who I am as an artist and a scholar. As well, I believed that my own experiences of marginalization and being outside the mainstream (as a woman, an adult student, a single parent, a welfare recipient, an early childhood educator and a labourer) would heighten my sense of empathy and insight into the experiences of the people I would be interviewing.