National Adult Literacy Database

August 5, 1996

This week, we are presenting a story written by Sherry Clayton, from Greenville, BC. She was recently enrolled in the adult education program in Northern British Columbia.

Decisions

by Sherry Clayton

Are we as parents making the right decisions? First of all, if one of our children is grounded do we keep our word and make sure that the child stays grounded, or do we let him off after a couple of days of days of listening to him whine about staying in all day? Or do we fall for those sad little puppy eyes, and for that soft little voice that says, "Please, Mom and Dad, can I go out ? I promise I won't do that again. I'll be good. I've done all the extra chores you've asked me to do."

We were in this situation. We had grounded our ten-year-old son for smoking. He was grounded for a long time, although he hadn't done anything this bad before. We were hurt about him smoking, because we always talk to him about these things. He said he tried just one because the other kids were laughing at him. The decision we had to make is whether or not we let him go on a trip with the Night Dancers, whom he'd been involved with for two years, and was very proud of. It's something we'd do anything for. We told him that if he didn't tell the truth, he'd be grounded from Nishga Dancing. So he told the truth.

On the day the dancers were to leave, our son finally broke down and cried. He asked, "Please, Mom and Dad, can I please go with the dancers? I'll just walk away the next time anyone asks me to smoke." We had decided earlier that day to let him go since he had told the truth, and had been really good doing his extra chores. We knew he had learned his lesson. We were proud of him for speaking up and telling us what he'd do the next time he was in that situation. So, we said yes. However, on his way to school, he tripped in the school yard, broke his collar bone, and ended up missing the dance trip anyway.

I feel that any decisions that we as parents make, whether right or wrong, we learn from. We learn from our mistakes just like our children do. But we parents can also listen to and learn from each other as we share what we do to raise our children.