National Adult Literacy Database

October 14, 1996

This week, we are presenting a story written by John Rogers, from the Greater Toronto area. John is presently taking part in the Beat the Street Program of Frontier College, since a little over a year ago. He was homeless for a number of years previous to that. John is very creative and thoughtful, and he is an extremely hard worker. He has published his memoirs, in a book entitled "My Life Under a Rock", and is presently working on a second book.

Self-control

by John Rogers

Meekness is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of self-control, patience, peace, love, compassion, strength, courage, etc. Some say that there is no such thing as self-control and have asked what it is.

I would like to give you a few examples through my own experience. There were times a drug dealer would ask me am I looking for something to get high on.

I would say no; life is short enough and I like to live longer; that is self-control. There were times a prostitute would ask me am I looking for a good time. I would say no; it is better to be loved by one than it is to be used by many; that is self-control.

There were times some people would want to do me harm. I would look at them in the eyes and say if it makes you any better than I am; so be it and walk away; that is self-control.

There were times my old friends would ask me to get drunk or high with them. I would say no, I get high on life, which is safer and healthier for me; that is self-control.

There are times I would hold someone in my arms without lust in my heart; that is self- control. A few months ago, my specialist and doctors told me that my neck and spine are deteriorating and it is also affecting my legs.

My doctors have told me that it is too risky to operate because I could be in a wheelchair or bedridden for the rest of my life. Now I'm accepting it, letting nature take its course and God is giving me the strength to go on.

I'm not cursing my doctors and God; that is self-control.

[This story is an excerpt from Mercury's Diary, p. 18, in Writings from Beat the Street, a program of Frontier College.]