Story of the Week
December 9, 1996
The story we are featuring is written by Kenneth Bailey Jr., from Montreal. He is thirty years old, and he grew up in the West end of Montreal. He started getting into trouble when he was quite young, and he was not interested in school. He started using drugs and was sent to Shawbridge Boys' Farm. By the time he was in his thirties, he was heavily into drugs. He went to a rehabilitation centre named Decision House. That's where he learned to deal with his anger, and that's why he wrote this composition. He decided to improve his reading and writing skills. Today, he goes to school and talks about drug and alcohol awareness.
My name is Kenneth Bailey Jr. I am thirty four years old. I grew up in the West end of Montreal in the sixties. I started getting into trouble when I was really young. I wasn't interested in school so I never went. I started using drugs when I was young and ended up at Shawbridge Boy's Farm. By the time I was twenty seven I was heavily into drugs. At the age of thirty two I ended up in a rehabilitation center named Decision House. That's where I learned to live again. That's where I learned to deal with my anger. That's why I wrote this composition. I decided to improve my reading and writing skills. Today I go to schools and talk about drug and alcohol awareness. I'm in computer school to improve my writing skills while I wait for my job on the ships. Here is my composition What is Anger?
What is Anger?
by Kenneth Bailey Jr.
What is Anger? Anger is, through my eyes, when you're holding resentment towards someone for their saying something or doing something you don't agree with. Anger is one letter away from danger and danger is one letter away from fighting. Anger is also caused by frustration.
When I'm angry at the people I live with I won't get out of their way, I'll interrupt when they are talking to another person and I'll be loud when they are on the phone. When I get up at six o'clock in the morning sometimes I make a lot of noise. I don't give a shit about what I do or what I say. I'll say what is on my mind. I don't care if it hurts them or not. When someone is telling me something I don't want to hear I get loud and start pointing out things that they do not want to hear. I get defensive and very scared when the group tells me the truth.
When I'm in group therapy I get very bored and when we talk to the same person and are always saying the same thing and he doesn't understand what we are saying.
When I'm angry at someone I can hurt their feelings with my sharp tongue and I can make them mad. When I'm angry at someone and I don't want to fight them I'll be silent. When they ask me to do something I wont do it and I'll just turn away.
This is how I deal with my anger. When I get into a conflict and I feel that it is coming to being a fight I will walk away and look at the situation and find out the reason why I'm getting angry. In the past, when I was using, I wouldn't give a shit about anything going on around me. Now, since I have been clean and sober for about a year, I care about what happens around me because I care about myself. I'm not silent anymore. I will tell the person, or persons, how I am feeling and I will answer their questions.
I still have a problem with rudeness. At times I can still be rude when people disturb me when I have something that's bothering me and they don't want to listen. When I'm getting feedback from the group and they are telling me something that I know I still get defensive. But I listen and take their suggestions. They all give me different suggestions and I take what I need from them. But I don't get angry or try to cut them down.
I used to hold resentment when I didn't like what someone said to me. Now I look at what they said to me or did to me and I have learnt how to let the resentment go. (Some people just like to push your buttons and that's the way it is.) Live and let live.
I was scared to hear the truth and to face reality but I once I started getting confidence and getting respect back and I applied myself to the things I wanted to do I lost that scaredness. I'm no longer scared to do what I have to do to live a better life today.
[This story was submitted to us by McGill Students for Literacy, and is reprinted with permission]
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