National Adult Literacy Database

March 6, 2006

Shadab was recently enrolled at Bow Valley College in Calgary, doing literacy and English as a Second Language course.

Play an audio version of this story

Shadab's Story

by Shadab

It was the 14th of June. She was sitting in the park, watching her kids playing. It has been four years, she thought. Four years of struggle. The last four years were rolling in her mind, as she was happy with the decision that she made by herself for the first time in her life.

Sonia belongs to a wealthy, but very conservative Indian family. It was a male-dominated family. Every decision was made by a man. Before her marriage, her father, then her husband, they all made the decisions. She was an educated woman, she wanted to prove herself, but she was not allowed to do anything against her husband's wish. So, she just lived home and raised her kids.

When her son was only 7 years old and her daughter was only 2 years old, her husband was diagnosed as a cancer patient. Sonia was so worried and tense because the doctors were not hopeful for her husband. He decided to go to USA for his treatment. Doctors told him that his condition was very advanced, but he wanted to take the chance.

So with her husband and two kids, she came to USA. Her husband had a cousin in New York. So Han decided to go to his house for a few days. He didn't want that because he knew that his wife wouldn't like it, but that was what Han wanted. So, she followed the orders. But, she was just a newcomer there; she didn't know anything about the language, the culture - everything was totally different. Her husband's condition was getting worse. Just after one week, Han's cousin told Sonia to find some other place else to live, because he didn't want to disturb his family.

Now, she was kind of terrified because she didn't know what to do now, where to go. Han was worried too. And the same day, he got a seizure and was taken to hospital where there he died.

Now, she was really alone and helpless. Han's cousin's sister said she should go back home. But she knew that, because she had nothing there. Because when they came, they said they have to sell everything and they have to finish everything there. No, there was no one to help her and her kids.

No one to help in case, but to feel them as a burden. And for once in her life, she made a decision that she is going to settle in Canada, with her children, by herself. She will not depend on anyone, she thought. And so, she came to Canada, she upgraded her education. Now she has a nice job.

It was her husband's fourth death anniversary today. She is thinking that she is a single mom here and she never made any kind of decisions. But what she is doing now is good for her and her kids. Otherwise, she will have to depend on others all of her life, back home. In the same way now, I am struggling hard, but I am independent now.

My kids told me I have an inferiority complex. "That's all that matters to me," she thought and closed her eyes with satisfaction.